Recently, I’ve set a concept for myself that being gentle and loving to myself is one of the essentials of my well-being.
During the moments of anxiety, terrible emotions such as guilt, embarrassment, fear, when feeling lonely loving thoughts from myself towards me have helped me to not stay stuck in the negativity.
I’ve discovered that having a love for myself and saying nice things (like, that’s alright, I am alright, I am strong and can handle it, I forgive myself) has been making me feel better about my whole being.
It’s not that all the insecurities just go away. It’s about accepting yourself and loving whoever you are at that moment.
On the journey to self-compassion, you’ll find your new biggest best friend – you.
And in this post, I want to share with you 4+ things that have helped me to be more gentle and loving to myself🌹
catch negative self-talk
The first step to being kinder to yourself is to stop the negative self-talk.
Be aware of your thoughts. Get attentive.
What are you thinking about yourself most of the time?
Probably “Ew, I’m so ugly. Why am I so dumb? I’m awkward, nobody likes me”, and some other terrible phrases.
And sometimes you really mean these words, am I not right?
I’ve been there so I know what I’m talking about.
But why you can’t stop judging yourself?
Because you feed your subconscious mind with all these negative phrases.
And this mind controls your whole being, body, emotions, mindset.
Therefore, every time you talk negatively about yourself, even as a joke, your subconsciousness doesn’t know the difference.
Then it thinks that self-loathe is a normal thing. It just keeps reminding you to get some dose of it every day.
And you just end up in this terrible cycle of negativity.
But how do you break through this cycle?
Everytime time you catch a bad phrase passing by, just let it pass by.
Don’t get attached to it.
See this thought as a bubble that just goes up and dissapears.
It has nothing to do witht the real you. Not every thought is true.
At first, such detaching might not be easy.
But keep being persistent, don’t let negativity tell you who you are.
change the words you say to yourself
Once you catch the bad thought passing by, immediately change it to a better one.
E.g. “Why am I not as pretty as Sarah? Why do I look like this?” change to “No, no. I’m beautiful, I have pretty features. I love how my eyes and lips look. They’re stunning”.
Again, at first, it’s not gonna be easy. You may get stubborn and irritated (just my experience).
But with practice, every time you’ll choose more loving words to speak and describe yourself instead of awful ones, you’ll develop an even better relationship with yourself.
Just some patience and gentleness.
talk to yourself as to someone you love
You might have heard this tip already.
But if not, here’s how it works.
When your friend or a loved one becomes sad or depressed your first reaction will be to nurture and help them, right?
You’ll say some nice words to cheer them up and tell ’em that everything will be alright, it’s just another battle that they will win.
And when they accomplish something big, you’ll be immensely happy and be proud of them.
So, why don’t you show this love, support, appreciation for yourself too?
I know you have enough love for yourself. You have an infinite source of love in your heart.
Give some of it to yourself when you need it the most.
During a mental breakdown, when everything hurts inside, let this gentle love heal you.
Don’t beat yourself up, don’t judge, feel guilty/ ashamed. Don’t hurt yourself even more.
Remind yourself how wonderful you are, how beautiful your life is, feel appreciation.
Because when there’s no one around but you, who’s gonna help you get out of this state of being? You, only you, and only with love.
keep a journal
Journaling has helped me a lot to build a healthier relationship with myself and become more loving to my being.
Write down how you feel, all of your worries and happy moments, mention everything that’s on your mind that makes you anxious.
One of my favorite exercises is to list the things that you love about yourself the most and what you’re proud of.
Don’t be shy, don’t underestimate yourself.
There’s definitely something amazing about you (actually A LOT of things!).
Everything counts. The little things. List every talent you have (even if you can’t call it a talent heheh).
Dogs love you and let you pet them? Yess
You can predict how the movie will end? Hella yess!
The color of your eyes? It’s sooo unique, write it too!
Remember of that special A you got once? Worth to make you feel good about yourself again.
There are soooo many things to love and admire about you.
Start doing it too. Fall in love with yourself. Find your light
Once you find this light… chase it!! Never stop chasing it.
Let this love bring you far far away… where you belong…
Really. Do that for yourself. Take some time to sit down and write down everything.
Here are some other small tips on how to be kinder to yourself and show your being some love:
- stop comparing yourself to others. you are a unique human being. you are just a different kind of pretty, kind of smart, but it doesn’t make you less.
I have the whole post that focuses on how to not compare yourself to others!
- choose what you consume, the people you’re surrounded with, the information you get, the habits you have if you can. choose health in every aspect of your life (healthy food, relationships, mental health, etc.)
- encourage and cheer yourself up. celebrate every tiny victory to keep you motivated. give hope to yourself that your future is bright
The journey to self-love and acceptance starts with a baby step.
Make this step now. Choose to show yourself love over hate.
Be your own biggest fan, supporter, best friend. You deserve to give yourself the same love you give to others.
Have a beautiful life and self-love journey
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